


Another Day, Another Life, Passes By Just Like Mine

by xDearDreamer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cancer, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, I deserve it, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad, Sad Ending, actually do hate me, titled "oh no what have I done" in word, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:18:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1800154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDearDreamer/pseuds/xDearDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 5 times Harry sings Louis to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Day, Another Life, Passes By Just Like Mine

**1.**

5 & 7

Louis can’t sleep, there’s not enough noise, not as many breaths taken in and out in different patterns. There’s no movement in other rooms there’s just him, Harry and Harry’s mum in this old brick house.

This is the first sleepover Louis’ been to and it’s at his younger best friend’s house, Harry, who lives across the road. Louis knows this, knows that his house is not even 20 meters from Harry’s but on this blow up mattress, right next the brown haired boy’s bed, Louis can’t sleep. He feels queasy and he loves Harry more than anything but he just wants to go home to his own bed with the power rangers cover he likes and with Lottie, one of his four sisters, sleep talking from the next room.

He also wants Teddy, his bear that he left at home because he didn’t want Harry to know that he still slept with toys because that was for _babies_.

Louis sighs and shifts himself around, trying to find a more comfortable spot.

Harry tosses in his sleep, his bed cover hitting Louis in the face. Louis groans and throws it, and all of the blankets covering him, off. He then stands up quietly, reaches over and shakes Harry awake.

“Wha-” Harry starts sleepily; Louis silences him with a finger on Harry’s lips.

“Can I sleep in your bed Harry?” Louis asks in a whisper, careful not to wake up Harry’s mum who’s in the next room over. Harry nods and rubs his eyes, moving to get out. Louis stops him. “No, I mean with you, I can’t get to sleep and I usually go to Mum when I can’t for a hug.” Louis says sheepishly, thankful Harry can’t see how dark his cheeks are with so little light.

“M’kay.” Harry grunts and moves over to allow Louis some room. Louis smiles and fits himself into the space. They’re facing each-other, both on their sides and their heads resting on the same pillow. Harry closes his eyes again.

“Harry?” says Louis, Harry cracks open one eye in response. “Could I… uh could I hold your hand? Mum always cuddles me but you don’t have to do that.” Louis questions tentatively. Harry shakes his head and Louis sighs.

Harry smiles and moves closer until his head is tucked under Louis’ chin, his legs slot between his friends and he pulls Louis’ arm over his torso. Louis’ ocean blue eyes widen in shock for a moment but then he grins and holds onto Harry.

There are a few quiet moments and then Louis speaks again. “You still awake?”

Louis feels Harry’s head move in a nod.

“Do you think you could sing a bit?” He asks. “Mum does it.” He tacks on quickly. She doesn’t really, but Louis likes it when Harry sings.

“Is the alphabet okay? I don’t know many songs.” Harry tells Louis and Louis nods. “ _A, B, C, D…_ ” Harry sings quietly until he gets to the end of the song. He misses a few letters but it doesn’t really matter to Louis sleepy brain.

“You’re my favourite.” Louis whispers into Harry’s hair and he misses the way Harry smiles wide into his neck because he drifts off to sleep.

 

They both wake up in the morning to Harry’s Mum snapping pictures and cooing at the sight of them.

*

** 2\.  **

10 & 12

“Lou _is_ …” Harry whines from behind where Louis is currently situated, head bent over Harry’s desk, carefully studying his maths.

“Harry…” Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated.

“You’ll do fine, come on.” Harry tells him and Louis shakes his head.

“No. I need to just study a bit-” he yawns, interrupting himself, “-more, just go to sleep without me.”

Harry rolls his eyes and wriggles his way under Louis’ arm so his head his merely centimetres from his friends and he’s completely blocking his view. “You need to sleep, your Mum said so. The only reason you were allowed to come over when you had your test tomorrow is because you listen to me.”

“I’m older!” Louis protests. “I don’t listen to you! You’re only ten!”

Harry juts out his lower lip in a sad pout and looks up at Louis with glassy eyes. “But _Louis_ … please?” Harry pleads, and Louis tries to force his blue eyes away from the shaking pale green ones but he can’t. He’s not immune to the ‘Harry look’ yet. Louis groans and Harry’s lip starts to wobble dangerously. He throws his pen down and thrusts his hands up in the hair.

“Fine! Fine!” Louis relents and Harry laughs charmingly. Louis knows he’s being conned but he can’t find it in himself to care. Harry drags him over to his single bed and pulls Louis under the covers, taking up his usual spot curled into Louis’ body. The older boy shakes his head at Harry who immediately snuggles him, nosing into Louis’ neck in a way that should be ticklish and make Louis squirm but it’s happened so often it feels right and normal. “You have to sing to me though, since when I fail tomorrow Mum will kill me and I won’t ever hear it again.”

Harry giggles. “She’s not going to kill you.”

“Oh? And how do you know that?” Louis asks.

“Because she likes me,” Harry says, “duh,”

“I didn’t say anything about killing you.” Louis points out.

“Well she likes me and I like you so she won’t kill you so I can be happy.” Harry explains and Louis laughs.

“Duh,” Louis mimics Harry. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you’re silly.” Harry replies and Louis’ lips curl into a smirk.

“Oh yeah?” He taunts and sticks his fingers into Harry’s ribs, smiling viciously when Harry squirms, his face going red. “Who’s the silly one now?”

“Boys!” Anne’s (Harry’s Mum) voice booms from downstairs and both boys freeze. “Behave!”

“Yes Mum!” Harry shouts and the room goes quiet for a few moments, until of course, they make eye contact and burst into silent laughter.

They calm down after a few minutes and Harry returns to his spot again.

“I’ll sing to you,” Harry says after a moment. “For good luck.”

 

Louis aces his test the next day. _Told you so,_ Harry tells him smugly.

Louis tackles him.

*

** 3\.  **

14 & 16

Louis is stunned, really.

He only went to the hospital to see why he was getting such bad headaches all of a sudden and now…this.

There are no tears leaking from his eyes. (The opposite coming from his Mum who’s in the corner of the room in the uncomfortable chair, breaking down in awful sobs) He kind of doesn’t know how to react. This is… its life changing. Life ending- really, but he can’t think about that. He thinks about how his mother isn’t doing anything to comfort him (not that he needs it) but this isn’t going to end _her_ life. It’s going to end his. She’s already lived; he hasn’t even tasted alcohol yet.

He thinks about what he wanted to do with his life, he thinks about his sisters and how he’ll never get to watch them grow. He thinks about Harry who’ll lose his best friend in a few short years.

Anne bursts through the hospital door, running to Jay, Louis’ mum and sending a sorrowful look over to Louis. She’s obviously heard the news. Harry wanders in after her, confusion spread across his young face as he takes in Jay breaking down. His eyes land on Louis next, questions swirling in his eyes.

“Is everything alright?” Harry whispers once he’s close enough. Louis wants to roll his eyes and scream ‘of course not!’ but he can’t watch Harry break too. So he nods and he lies and he opens his arms for Harry.

Harry lifts himself onto the sterile smelling bed and falls into Louis, gripping him tight.

“I know you’re lying.” Harry says after a moment and Louis sighs but doesn’t offer any new information. “I hope it’s for a good reason.” Harry tells him, snuggling into Louis. Louis shakes his head and buries his nose in Harry’s hair.

“Selfish reasons, I think.” Louis cards his fingers through Harry’s fringe, watches the light shine on it and turn into millions of shades of browns.

Harry hums quietly in response, as if he’s not sure how to reply with words.

“Think I just want to fall asleep…” Louis admits, determinedly not finishing the sentence. Harry doesn’t need to hear that. “You’ll sing, won’t you?”

Harry nods, “But why?”

Louis smiles and plays it off. “’Cause I love your voice Hazza, didn’t you know?”

Harry rolls his eyes and pokes a finger into Louis’ side. “No, I meant that you only make me sing when you’re stressed or you can’t sleep. What’s it this time?”

The older boy takes in a deep breath, and his voice drops to a low whisper so their mum’s don’t hear. “I’m afraid.” Louis tells him truthfully. He’s always been able to tell Harry anything and everything. (Except maybe one thing but he doesn’t want to think about that. Harry’s only 14 for goodness sake, Louis feels like a paedophile when he thinks about that.)

Harry thinks for a moment, a frown playing on his lips. Louis squeezes his eyes shut, prepared for the barrage of inevitable questions.

Surprisingly, Harry leaves it and launches into song.  

Louis’ eyelids relax and his fingers stop their movement. All that’s left in the room is Harry humming the rest of the song, and Louis’ mother’s sobs piercing the air.

 

The following morning, Louis wakes up first and stares down at Harry for a moment before his eyes drift away and land on Anne, who is watching him silently, sitting in the seat next to his sleeping mother.

“Have you told him?” Anne asks lowly and Louis shakes his head. Taking a strand of Harry’s hair between his fingers, he curls it around, avoiding Anne’s pity filled eyes.

“I don’t want to see him cry.” Louis confesses quietly. Harry moves in his sleep, digging himself further into Louis.

“I’ll tell him, love.” Anne tells him. Louis nods.

Harry wakes up only 5 minutes after that. He hugs Louis tight when his Mum tells him that she needs to speak to him outside.

Louis can see their shadows from behind the frosted glass. He can determine the moment Anne breaks it to Harry. Watching as Harry tries to run back inside. His mum stops him but then he’s running the other way, completely opposite from where Louis is. His shadow leaves Louis’ vision.

Louis turns to his side, his back facing the door. He covers the side of his face with his pillow and tries to block it all out. Shutting his eyes and mouth tight, Louis wants to scream.

There’s a dip in his bed and he peeks one eye open to meet his own mothers eyes. She gathers Louis in her arms and lets him break. He shatters like a broken window and lets the tears that have been waiting since he got the news to run wild. Jay pats and strokes the back of her eldest sons head until his eyes dry, red and irritated. It’s a tragedy, her son, full of life and energy, being slowly depleted and nobody can do anything about it. This is only the beginning.

Another body wiggles its way on top of the bed. Jay lets her son go, making room for the new presence. Louis almost cries again when he takes in Harry. His hear mussed and green eyes bright from the salty tears that have since been wiped away.

He reaches out shakily to Louis, pulling him in for an embrace. His fingers curl around Louis’ shirt tightly, twisting in a useless attempt to make them more permanent. Louis can’t be taken from Harry if they’re together like this. Louis won’t allow it. Not like this.

*

**4.**

17 & 19

Louis lights up when Harry enters his hospital room (it’s his now, has been since the day after he got the news.) His smile grows big and he turns the T.V off immediately.

“Harry!” Louis crows happily, patting the space in his bed where Harry usually sits invitingly. Harry plops himself down in the chair though and that’s- that’s- there’s something wrong. “Hazza?” He asks warily, taking in Harry’s slumped form, from the bow of his (newly curly) head and the sagging shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Harry makes a sound that sounds like a non-committal grunt. “Caroline.” He answers shortly. Louis rolls his eyes and scrunches his nose in distaste.

“What’d the old fart say now?”

Caroline is Harry’s older girlfriend, older as in much older than Louis and is very much a female. Louis hates her, with a passion. It comes with being a best-friend, he tells himself over and over again but really, he’s so jealous of her it’s not funny. He hates that Harry is so interested in everyone who is decidedly not himself. Seriously, _Louis is right there_.

He knows Harry’s a hit with the ladies, (curly hair, dimples and charm coming in dangerous doses) but he is _such_ a hit with Louis. He’s faced it. He’s so gay for Harry.

(He also hates Caroline for various other reasons besides his oh-so-obvious crush on the younger boy, the first and foremost of those being that she threatened to call off their relationship because Harry was spending too much time with Louis. Louis was ready to hunt her down for that, how dare she? He’s dying for goodness sake.)

“We broke up.” Harry sniffs, not meeting Louis’ eyes.

“About fucking time,” Louis mutters. “She was a bitch anyway.”

“Louis…” Harry says warningly.

“What? You can’t even deny that she was. I never liked her and she never liked me, the cow. Who doesn’t like me? Honestly Harry, I’m glad that’s ended she was annoying, and like- clingy, she called you all the time, I hardly had any time with you.”

“Louis!” Harry’s eyes flash up angrily. “Do you realize that I might be upset about this and may want you to comfort me instead of bitching about her?”

“Harry, you’ve got nothing to be upset about. She wasn’t meant to be with you, at all.” Louis replies.

“Oh?” Harry says challengingly. “And who, pray tell, am I meant to be with?”

Louis swallows thickly; he wishes he could shout ‘Me! It’s me!’ but he can’t, he just can’t. “I don’t know… you’ll feel it when they are.” Louis says lamely. “Sorry.” He squeaks because Harry’s nose flares and he knows he’s in for it.

“You’re sorry, Louis? Are you really?” Harry asks coldly. “I’m sorry too because the person that _I_ think I’m meant to be with and the one _I’ve_ liked for years is restricted to a fucking hospital bed eighty per cent of the time and is fucking dying of cancer!” Harry screams at Louis and Louis freezes… did Harry just say what he thinks he said?

Harry’s eyes widen as he realizes the implications of the angry confession and pushes the chair back as he stands abruptly, backing out of the room slowly. Louis’ eyes watch him.

“I- I didn’t mean- I’m sorry- I-” Harry stutters and then he flees, running out of the room and the hospital too.

He leaves Louis confused.

 

He doesn’t hear from Harry in days, he’s waiting for the door to swing open and for Harry to sweep in with his long legs and fumbling limbs. He’s waiting for dimpled smiles and loud laughs. He’s waiting for the call that he gets at 9 o’clock every day when visiting hours have officially been over for 10 minutes which is the time it takes for Harry to get from the hospital to his home. He’s waiting for Harry.

He’s waiting for Harry.

Harry doesn’t come.

There are no long legs and baby giraffe-like limbs; there are no loud laughs or dimples. There are no calls at 9 o’clock that go for way too long.

There’s nothing.

Louis feels empty, like he’s lost the most important factor in his life (he has, hasn’t he?). He cries himself to sleep the first, second and third night, sobbing pitifully into his pillow because Harry isn’t here to wipe them away and Harry isn’t here to make Louis smile and Harry isn’t here for Louis to have a reason. (A reason to fight; reason to live)

Harry isn’t here.

(Louis doesn’t feel like he’s there either)

By the fourth night, Louis can’t cry himself to sleep. The tears are coming but sleep won’t take him. The sobs too awful, echoing through his entire being because he’s lost him, he’s lost his Harry because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and he was too weak to run after him.

Louis hates that- the cancer- making his body weak, fragile. He would’ve said something to Harry, about this feeling he’s had because then they’d have a chance, and he wouldn’t be leaving in a few short years (the clocks always ticking, ticking).

The fourth night is when everything hits him at once because he could be normal without this cancer, it wouldn’t be like this. He’d still have his Harry.

He reaches for his phone and dials Harry, trying to calm his wretched crying. His hands shake as he lifts the phone to his air, listening to it ring, and ring.

It cuts off, Louis thinks Harry’s declined from the call but there’s no tell-tale beeping.

“Louis,” Harry breathes down the line and Louis could laugh or cry or scream and shout because he’s gone four days without hearing that voice and he never wants to do it again.

“Harry, you don’t have to- you don’t have to explain,” Louis gets out, stuttering.

“Lou-”

“No, don’t,” Louis orders, breaking off to allow room for the sob that’s bubbling in his throat. “I just want- want you to sing. Yeah- I want you to sing and then- then you can just go and- get a new number- but like- keep this one so I can-” He stops again, heaving in air, he doesn’t like the sound. Tears don’t stop cascading down his face. “So I can listen to your voice- till I go okay? It won’t be long I promise I just need- just need to.”

“Lou I didn’t mean what I said I-”

“Stop! Stop, please don’t say that just, just sing. Please.”

Harry lets out a sigh and Louis squeezes his eyes shut, turning to his side and pulling the sheets over his head. “Okay, Lou, what do you want me to sing?”

“Anything,” Louis says and he feels so small. “Whatever, I just-”

“Lou, it’s okay,” Harry tells him and Louis shakes his head minutely. Harry’s not here, it’s not alright.

“Okay,”

“ _I like you, boy you ain’t got nothing to prove, to me…_ ” Harry sings and Louis listens until the very last note. He doesn’t say anything and Harry has a few moments of silence.

“You still awake?” Harry asks his voice more gravelly than usual because of the phone connection. Louis doesn’t answer, hopes Harry keeps talking because he likes Harry’s voice but he doesn’t want to talk about what happened. “I’ll just- yeah I’ll go uh Lou, I guess there’s no harm in saying this now since you won’t hear it, but Lou, I do, like you- I mean. I’ll probably lie tomorrow and say that I don’t because I don’t want to lose you but, I need to say it.” Louis takes a sharp breath; he hopes Harry doesn’t catch it. “Bye Lou,” and then he clicks off.

Louis eyes drop shut, drying tear tracks still drawn on his cheeks.

 

In the morning, Louis wakes up and Harry is there and he gives Louis a smile but it doesn’t dimple and it fails to reach his eyes.

“I didn’t mean what I said.” Harry says. Louis shakes his head.

“I was awake.”

Harry’s eyes widen slightly. “Is that- is that okay?”

Louis doesn’t answer straight away, patting the space on his bed. Harry lifts himself into it warily but then sinks in when Louis pulls him close.

The older boy tilts the younger’s chin up, staring him in the eyes before they drop to his mouth. Louis’ noticed before but up close, it seems Harry’s mouth is prettier (more inviting) than any one he’s ever seen. Harry shifts, uncomfortable under his gaze but Louis’ eyes don’t tear away. “It’s so okay,” He murmurs and closes the gap between their lips, slotting them together easily.

Now, Louis hasn’t kissed anyone in 3 years since his first one when he was 16 in truth or dare, so, he hasn’t got many expectations or really, anything to compare to. This kiss would surpass them all, he’s sure.

He’s kind of hesitant in the way he moves, trying to remember how to kiss and where to put his hands while all his brain is thinking ‘ _harryharryharry’_ he knows Harry can sense this, moving Louis’ hands to his hips for him and pressing in close, cupping Louis’ face in his own large hands.

Louis melts completely in Harry’s grip, putty in his hands. He goes soft and pliant and lets Harry lead the way. He tightens his hold on Harry’s hips when Harry straddles his thighs. It makes him feel dizzy, the slip and slide of their lips. He figures Harry’s kiss would make him feel like that- like he’s just been on a rollercoaster with too many turns.

He keeps getting dizzier though, and his stomach flips uncomfortably, he’s not sure that’s normal.

It’s only when the bile creeps up his throat is when he feels it, the reflex to gag and he’s pushing Harry away, reaching over for the vomit bag that’s always close by and bringing it to his mouth just before the vomit spills.

He wrinkles his nose when he’s done and ties the bag up, sinking back into the bed.

Louis looks up at Harry then, sees his face looking all kinds of hurt and guilt, eyes drawn to his hands in his lap.

“That wasn’t a dig at your kissing skills.” Louis pants out, Harry doesn’t respond. “Best kiss I’ve ever had.”

Harry looks up then, and Louis is reminded of how young Harry is, his eyes wide and youthful. He’s breathtaking.

He’s Louis’.

*

**5.**

19 & 21

Louis feels… he feels great, actually, now that he thinks about it. His chemo hasn’t really been bothering him at all today; he hasn’t vomited once so when Harry walks into his hospital room he smiles brightly at his boy and for the first time in weeks, answers truthfully to Harry when he asks how he’s feeling.

“I’m great,” he says, “not even lying,” and Harry grins at him, cupping his jaw and kissing him lightly.

“That’s great, Lou.” Harry replies, taking Louis’ hand into his own, holding it up to his lips. “Do you think you might be getting better?” he asks lowly, whispering it against Louis’ skin.

For the first time in years, he smiles, and he nods in reply because he’s never felt better. It’s worth it to see Harry’s reaction, the small smile that spreads across his lips, his green eyes shining brightly like the sun and Louis pulls him into another kiss.

A knock on his door makes them break apart and Doctor Green enters, his face looking grim. Harry’s smile drops.

“Louis, your scans came back.” He starts, “I’m so sorry but we’re talking weeks, now, maybe even days,” Harry shakes his head slowly.

“I’ve never felt better in my life though, I feel fine, better than that.” Louis says and the doctor shakes his head.

“Then it’s worse than we thought, some people have a day before they die when they feel better than ever, it’s a strange phenomenon but truthfully, you should have passed away years before, you’re very lucky to be where you are,” Harry scoffs at this, choking on a sob.

“You think he’s lucky?” Harry spits and Louis makes a soothing noise, stroking his fingers down Harry’s spine.

“Lucky to have the extra years with you, Haz, is what he meant.” Louis says calmly, “I guess I should start calling everyone, thanks, doc.” Harry makes a hurt noise, like a wounded animal because he can’t say goodbye to Louis, not now, not ever.

Doctor Green leaves them and they sit in silence for a few long seconds.

“You _can’t_.” Harry whispers, clutching to Louis tighter. “You can’t _go_.”

“Hey, hey, none of that Harold,” Louis scolds, wiping Harry’s eyes. “You’re not spending my last day crying, I won’t allow it.”

“Can you just be serious for once?!” Harry cries, “You’re going to leave me, you’re going to leave me here all alone and I’ll never be the same, god I love you and you’re just going to leave when you’ve always been there! I can’t remember a moment of my life without you and you’re just going to go. Lou, please.” Harry begs, tears clouding over his eyes. Louis grabs his face and stares directly into Harry’s eyes.

“Harry, you listen to me. I’m not leaving you; I’ll always be there, alright? You’re going to survive without me breathing, because that’s what you do. You’ll grieve, you’ll remember and you’ll move on but I will not let you grieve before I’m even gone because I want our last day to be you and I like we’ve always been and like we always would have been, you can cry after, okay but right now I need you to be strong, because dying is fucking scary as shit and I need you to hold my hand.”

Harry shakes his head, and reaches up to curl his long fingers around Louis’.

“I can’t do this.” Harry whispers, Louis brings him into his chest but he has no words to soothe him as he sobs into Louis’ neck.

 

His Mum and sisters arrive at the hospital half an hour later and watch him write out what minimal stuff he has is going to which sister. The younger ones don’t understand but the older ones do. Nobody cries.

He apologizes that he’s not going to be there for them but assures them that Harry will, of course and tells them to never date boys ever until they reach at least 30 because he won’t be there to scare them away.

Harry never leaves his side through this, fidgeting with his fingers or messing with his hair. Jittery because now the clock has a defined end point and it’s not going away.

Louis says goodbye to the girls, winces when the younger ones leave with a happy “See you tomorrow, Lou!”

Jay stays, Anne taking the girls home. She’s the one that fetches the camera and lets Louis film birthday messages for each of the girls until their 21st. Harry is putting the camera away when Louis passes two cd’s to his mother. One is for her, and the other, he explains is for Harry, when he needs it.

She nods, understands and stays there quietly. She isn’t crying, she knows Louis hates it and she knows he’s seen her cry too many times.

 

They spend the day together, Harry and him, doing things they never got to before, won’t ever get to again. Harry stares at him for too long when he’s sprawled bare in the hospital bed. The door barricaded. Harry cries when they finish, Louis lets it slide.

 

He wants to die under the stars.

 

Harry carries him outside well after the sun has set. Jay follows but sits a distance away. Louis’ said his goodbyes to everyone except Harry.

“I signed you up for xfactor you know.” Louis tells him once they’re settled, Louis nestled in Harry’s lap.

Harry laughs, out loud, the first real laugh Louis has heard all day. “Why?” He asks.

“Because you’re good, H, really good. You’re going to be a star.” Louis grins sunnily, Harry shakes his head but smiles back. It only drops when Louis coughs, it rattles through his body. Harry winces.

“I’m going to be a mess.” Harry tells him, Louis nods.

“Course you will, Haz, but you’ll stop being a mess after a while.” Louis responds and cuddles closer to him.

“I don’t even know what I’m going to do.” Harry whispers, Louis knows he’s about to break.

“Well, right now, you’re going to sing to me, and in a few months the worlds going to see my star, the rest you’ll have to figure out.”

“Sing to you?” Harry repeats and Louis nods.

“Have to sing me to sleep, H.” Louis says and Harry cracks.

A sob is ripped out of his throat and tears pour like rain in a storm and he clutches onto Louis tighter, as if Louis can’t be taken if he holds on tight enough, long enough.

“If I don’t sing will you stay?” Harry asks, and he knows the answer, but he wants, so desperately to hear a different one.

“It’s not how it works, love.” Louis tells him and Harry squeezes his eyes shut and nods, burying his face into Louis’ neck and letting Louis run his fingers through his curls soothingly.

“I love you so much.” Harry cries and Louis coughs again, his body shaking.

“I love you too Harry, you know I do.” Louis nudges his cold nose at Harry’s jaw until Harry lifts his head up to kiss him.

They break apart and Louis coughs again. He looks sickly.

“I don’t know what to do.” Harry tells him, his words rushed and panicky. They’re losing time. “You’re going to go and I’m just going to be left here and I’ll never wake up next to you ever again and I wanted so much with you, I wanted to be old and wrinkly with you but it won’t ever happen I don’t think I can handle not being-”

“Harry, sh, listen, right now you’re going to sing, and you’re going to sing the song till it’s finished and then you’re going to call a nurse and you’re going to go home and go straight to bed and not even think about doing anything stupid, and that’s all that matters, okay?” Louis grips at him now. He’s scared, he’s so scared but he has to make sure Harry will be okay.

“Okay- I- Lou?”

“Yeah, Haz?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, now sing.”

Harry sings, and the last words Louis hears are “ _hush now, close your eyes before the sleep.”_ So he does exactly that.

Harry sings, and the stars burst in colour. Harry sings and supernovas are born in the spaces between lyrics. Harry sings, and galaxies are created.

Harry sings and Louis dies.

**Author's Note:**

> Might make a Harry pov for this one if some people want it
> 
> Also it would be a dream come true to be on thelarrylibrary.tumblr.com so if you know, just saying it would be awesome if you could submit it


End file.
